...

Looking back

You know I was looking back at some of my posts, and cringing at some of them, like just thinking what the fuck did I write, even thought it was only like a few weeks ago

Even had the urge to just delete some stuff and things, but then I realized deleting it wouldn't really do anything, since at the time that was what I wanted to write, and it deserves to be kept like that, which is why I'm not touching it that much either (Except tweaking a bit of personal stuff that I wrote in the spur of the moment out for my own privacy and comfort)

Was also looking at other neocities sites with similar tags to this and I have to say, it's pretty comforting seeing other people like me on here, it's a strange kind of comfort in people with similar struggles and issues, at least that's what I felt, not sure

I'm not usually sure why I made this in the first place, it was an idea that came to me after some inspiration from some one else, and I wanted to do it as well

My mind was a clusterfuck of thoughts and emotions and I needed an outlet somehow, so this was the place that I decided on

Now that I have, it's become a place I look forward to writing my heart and mind out in, just a place to let loose a bit, and let my thoughts wander

Right now I'm sort of stuck in a strange area of my life, many choices surround me and major decisions that can probably have terrible consequences if I don't pick the right one, a lot to think about, trying to convince certain people, hiding from others, all that stuff

I'm just not really sure what to do and I've been in this freeze state for a few weeks now, just sort of trying to handle everything mentally while also trying to handle life itself and everything in it

I'm also getting a bit conscious that there are already like exactly 363 views on this thing, dear god that's a lot, I know some or most of them are probably not real people, but just seeing the number makes me feel like people have seen what I write

I wonder what a person think, when reading stuff like this, I'm not sure how to feel about it since no one in my personal life knows that I even have this site at all, except the people here

I just hope? Your not too triggered? About what I write? Hopefully?

Either ways, uh I do have things to look forward to this weekend, so that's fun, gonna go out with some friends, it will be fun

I'm not sure how to end this entry so I'll just say, stay safe, I guess

- Murr